63 Losing All Control
Dante’s room was coming ever closer, and even as I tried to stop myself, I was only succeeding in slowing myself down a little.
I looked around in desperation, trying to scream or make some sort of sound.
I am Kiara Westwood – No, I am Kiara Rossi; the queen, and the Luna of this pack. A mother.
I won’t do this, I can’t!
I gripped the dagger tightly. I would rather die than hurt my son! The hatred and fury coursing through me were growing stronger with each passing second, and I was beginning to be pushed into a corner of my own mind. My wolf’s pain and restlessness mixed with my own.
No one was going to take my body from me. Summoning every ounce of willpower I could, I forced all my concentration into trying to break free. I screamed as I forced my aura to burst through the barrier that seemed to be subduing it. It swirled around me like a storm, a clear purple visible around me as it blasted in all directions. I heard glass shattering nearby and distant shouts as my body began moving towards Dante’s room faster.
I had to stop myself, I was not going to let this happen! Using all my might, I twisted the dagger and plunged it into my chest, making me gasp as pain rushed through me and I fell to the ground, the blade inches from my heart. The smell of blood filled the air as it dripped onto the floor, I let go of the dagger as I bent forward on all fours, trying to regain control. Why was this happening?
My own resilience, anger, worry, and determination mixed in with anger and resentment that did not belong to me. The emotions burned through me, it felt like my head was being split open as we both fought for control.
Get out of my head!
My only response was splitting pain as my head erupted with agony and I curled up, groaning as my vision darkened.
A flare of hatred rushed through me and my eyes flashed as she came into view, her black and
pink hair bouncing as she ran to my side as fast as she could, crouching down by me. I saw her eyes glaze and knew she was mind linking as she reached out for me.
“You won’t touch me.”
Those words didn’t belong to me! Goddess! “Back off!” I found myself spitting. “Not happening, babe.” Raven replied, and in a flash I was on my back. It was obvious she didn’t want to hurt me with the blade still stuck in my chest. I felt like a puppet stuck in a body I had no control of, as I yanked the dagger out and kicked her off me. She blocked as I swung the dagger at her, her eyes meeting mine as she tried to disarm me. She glanced behind me as if hoping for someone to show up.
“Kiara, listen to me!”
I shoved her off as I ran for Dante’s room, only for Raven to aim a sharp kick at my hip and yank me backwards once more.
“S**t, I’m sorry!” She whimpered as her knee connected with my chest, slamming me to the ground. “Kia!”
I glared up at her, grabbing her hair and throwing her off me, into the far wall. Her tiny body slid to the ground but she was on her feet faster than I was expecting, although I wasn’t much slower. I ran at her, anger rushing through me. She was in the way of my mission! I raised my dagger, praying she ran, when an arm locked around my neck and another around my waist.
“Kia, listen to me.” Her strong yet soothing voice came, her aura swirling around her.
I slammed my elbow into her side and, hooking my ankle around hers, yanked her legs from under her. Twisting around with more power than I ever had before, I threw her across the hall. She rolled over, breaking her fall, turning her silver eyes blazing as she looked at me.
For a moment, she looked like a phoenix, her aura so intense, her red hair falling in front of her face and the look of determination told me that she was not afraid of anything.
I heard running and turned to see Maria and Raihana appear at the top of the stairs.
“Kiara, take control.” Maria’s voice came, her eyes blazing as she walked towards me.
“Take another step and I will kill myself.” I hissed.
How did I lose control of myself? I thought things were getting better… “You won’t.” Raihana’s voice came before she whispered a spell and then everything went dark.
Her magic confused my senses, and no matter which direction I looked, I saw nothing. The Djinn’s irritation rose within me, and I realised Raihana was using my own weakness against me.
“She’s injured…” I heard Raven murmur from somewhere in the darkness as I swung the dagger, making sure no one came close.
I felt the force within me grow.
“Raihana leave!” I heard Mom shout as my own powers burst from me and illuminated the area. I was thrown to the ground. I wasn’t sure who had thrown me to the ground as both Maria and Mom were pinning my arms down and the dagger was torn from my hold by Maria as I struggled against them. “Kiara.” A deep voice came.
Pain erupted in my chest and a wave of guilt washed over me.
What on earth was I doing?
I looked up into the blazing red eyes of my mate, the festering resentment within me growing and even when Mom and Maria let go, I found myself pulling away not wanting his touch. Or more like the Djinn didn’t want Alejandro near me.
Bending down, he lifted me by my waist, his eyes skimming over my b****y chest, concern and fear flashing in his eyes. “You need… to lock… me away…” I said, struggling to form my words as I pushed him away.
I didn’t trust myself.
“Amore Mio…” He grabbed my arm and pulled me into his chest. Intense sparks rushed through me and, although the other emotions seemed to dissipate a little, the urge to kill him was still very strong…
I’m a danger to him, to my family, to everyone. Didn’t he see that? I could see Dad’s pained look and Liam’s, my guilt growing as he helped Raven to her feet, kissing her as he held her tight. The concern in Maria’s eyes, Mom’s worry… Raihana…
I had failed them all.”
“Alejandro, you need to lock me away, I’m losing my mind.” I whispered. His embrace was tight, pinning my arms to my side. My heart thundered as I struggled fruitlessly in his arms.
“I got you.” His words hit me hard and I stilled. Silent tears trickled down my cheeks and the pain within my chest hurt far more than the wound that was beginning to soak us both in blood. I closed my eyes, inhaling his scent. I didn’t need my memories to tell me that this was my safe place, my home.
“She needs to be checked over, Alejandro.” Maria’s voice came.
I realised his heart was pounding and I pressed my lips against the fabric of his shirt, kissing his chest.
This was my fault; I have worried him…
“Dante… Don’t let Dante see this.” I said, my vision darkening.
“Don’t worry, he’s being kept occupied.” Alejandro replied before lifting me up bridal style.
Our eyes met, but I was unable to hold his gaze. I looked away, a wave of sadness washing over me.
I had failed him
It was an hour later, and I was partially healed. Raihana had tried to heal me, but whatever was controlling me was making it harder for her, so we had told her to stop. She was pregnant and we couldn’t risk it. I had fallen unconscious and had caused more damage by exerting myself even when I was heavily injured, I had lost a lot of blood.
A pack doctor had come to check the injury and had bandaged me up. I was now in my bedroom with Liam and Raven sitting on the bed, whilst Alejandro was pacing the room. He had changed into a clean shirt and was currently smoking a cigarette.
“I’m sorry…” I said, looking at Raven. She was sitting between Liam’s thick legs, looking incredibly tiny.
“Don’t be! It was like old times, us two having a friendly match!” She replied, making a fist as she smiled cheerily.
There was nothing friendly about it. “I still hurt you.” I sighed.
“It wasn’t you.” Alejandro said coldly as Liam stroked my hair, his other arm tightly around his bite-sized Luna
“Yeah. Don’t blame yourself, Kia.” Liam added looking over at Alejandro. “I thought his hold on her had weakened?
“I thought so too, but it seems not…” Alejandro said, now walking over to the bed.
White-hot anger ripped through me, and my eyes flashed, making Alejandro pause as he was about to reach out for me.
“Kiara…” He retracted his hand, taking a drag on his cigarette as he moved back.
“Stay away.” I said quietly, my heart pounding as I felt the urge to get out of the bed and attack him.
“Nothing can f*****g keep me away from you.” He growled, stubbing the cigarette on the ashtray on the bedside table and sitting down on the bed next to me.
“I don’t get how his control has grown…” Liam murmured.
“Delsanra had a theory.” Raven replied, falling silent when Alejandro glanced at her.
Hatred blazed through me, and I felt my claws extract.
“Her aura…” Raven murmured.
“Lock me away, Alejandro, where I can’t hurt myself or anyone.” I begged.
The fear of hurting my loved ones terrified me, I needed to be kept away.
“ALEJANDRO! Don’t you get it?! I’m losing my sanity! Do you want me to run away?! No, right? Then lock me in the cells so I don’t hurt anyone!” I shouted; frustration clear in my voice.
I was fighting it, but it was obvious with each passing day his control over me was growing. Or more like every passing minute.
“We’ll give you both a moment.” Liam said quietly as he stood up. Raven glanced at me, worry in her unique coloured eyes before they both left the room, leaving me alone with Alejandro.
His hand threaded into my hair, and he pressed his forehead against mine, sending sparks of pleasure through me. “We are going to get through this. Keep fighting like the f*****g queen you are.” I nodded, my heart squeezing. “I plan to but I’m scared to hurt anyone.” I said quietly.
His gaze dipped to my lips before travelling down to my neck. He frowned thoughtfully before bending down, pulling me up slightly against him. My heart pounded due to his closeness, making tingles spread through me, his scent enveloping me.
“Marking you helped last time…” He murmured more to himself than to me. I was about to push him away, but for some odd reason my body wasn’t fighting him anymore, in fact, it seemed to welcome his closeness. Something was wrong. Very very wrong.
“Alejandro-” I tried to warn him, feeling the anger and excitement course through me, but instead of listening, he sank his teeth into my neck.
Pain ripped through me, mixed with a river of pleasure, but I couldn’t focus on it because what terrified me was the feeling of victory that rushed through me. An emotion that was not my own.
Fear filled me, and using all my energy, I shoved Alejandro off me. My heart was pounding as he looked at me with concern, licking the blood from his lips.
“Relax, Amore Mio, it’s going to-” He suddenly tensed, bending over as he began coughing violently.
I felt like a bucket of iced water was poured over me, seeing the blood that dripped through his fingers as he continued to cough. Pain filtered through the bond and I clamped my hands over my mouth.
“I’m fine…” He said hoarsely, his face was ashy and I could see the thin layer of sweat that now covered his forehead.
“No you’re not.” I whispered, horrified.
The temptation to plunge my hand into his back was consuming me, but instead, I staggered off the bed, a hand to my chest, putting distance between us.
I needed to get help
63 Losing All Control
He gripped the bed with one hand as another bout of cough wracked his body and with icy realisation the truth hit me.
My blood had poisoned him. 2